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The best lessons come wrapped in thorns

The best lessons come wrapped in thorns
July 28, 2020 Charli Wall

In all evolutions of my business and life, there’s been one constant:

I enjoy helping others grow. I enjoy creating communities

Grow businesses, grow personally, grow spiritually.

And it’s usually fun until it’s not.

We’ve heard the saying:

‘Growth isn’t always easy but it’s always worth it’

But I feel I’d be doing you (and me) a huge disservice if I didn’t talk honestly about how growth can royally suck sometimes.

I know when I’m experiencing rapid growing pains, It’s rarely helpful to read the motivational quotes or the mantras that “should” make me feel better.

Most of the time, it’s worse.

Scrolling through Facebook? Forget about it.

Sure, the aftermath will be joyful, even humorous,

Looking back, we can all pretend it wasn’t so bad,

Add it to our hero(ine)’s journey & celebrate the victory!

But when we’re in it – it can be uncomfortable.

So if you’re feeling the pain, I’m here for you.

I know what you’re going through.

I wish more people would be honest about it.

Not in a “Look at me” or “Pity Me” way.

But in a “Wow, this sucks + that’s okay, I’ll be okay” kinda way.

To those of you who say “Suck it up, dust yourself off and get back out there”, – this post is not for you.

This is for the sensitive folks out there.

Because I’ve been waiting for someone like us to open up about it honestly, then I decided to go first.

Some lessons are fun(ny) to learn.

But in my experience, the best lessons come wrapped in thorns.

They can be really painful.

They can be confusing, contradictory, or seemingly out of nowhere.

Maybe it feels like a personal attack, betrayal, a great situation gone wrong.

Or cause you to question the very things going right in your life.

And sometimes they can be damaging & destructive.

Let’s face it, most great lessons aren’t pretty.

Here’s what I know to be true:

When I try to find a solution or move through it too quickly, I miss out on some of the most valuable insights & feedback, though they too can be the most painful.

What if we move towards the pain, not away from it?

What does that mean?

Everyone’s different.

To me, it means a number of things..

Taking some space, getting outside,

Licking my wounds and crying it out.

Having an ice cream + watching Netflix

Naming the thoughts and feelings,

Detailing the discomfort.

Writing out the facts and feelings.

Not trying to solve it just yet.

I write out what I’m making all these things, people, actions mean about me.

It’s amazing how we internalise and create meanings.

I’ve caught myself in a swirl of ridiculous thoughts.

My worth was attached to it looking a certain way.

Then, I either look for a solution and come up with a plan, pulling out lessons and feedback, or I reach out to the people I love and who love me.

The main thing I come back to is the notion of separating the message from the messenger.

I don’t get to choose what growth looks like, or how it’s delivered.

I do get to choose my response to it, and whether or not I do the work to truly learn it.

If not, it’ll keep coming back around until I do.

Once again, if you’re going through sh*t, keep going.

You may find humour in it one day, I promise.

Sending a big hug your way.

And if this resonates and you need some support, send me a message and let’s talk it out.

You can totally get through it on your own but, like many things in life – it’s more fun with someone standing by your side.

Love, Charli x

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