<3 The day my world changed in a moment.
The day I grew up.
The day I lost my beautiful brother and the dad I knew.
I have learned over the last 27 years that the pain of grief never leaves you – it lingers just below the surface of my heart – my heart that is more open, less broken, more able to feel the love and the pain and the downright unfairness of it all.
I am, however, grateful for my tremendous human spirit that just presses on, and on, and on.
I have learned that even though the burden of grief can sometimes feel like the weight of a thousand bricks on my back, at other times it gives me wings to fly high and courage to be vulnerable.
I have learned that grief itself offers us great compassion.
I have learned that it comes and goes, tailoring itself to each unique heart that is experiencing their loss.
I have learned that grief takes its time, never forcing us to do it all now, for if it did we would surely not survive.
I have learned that I can say hello to grief on this day, and other days like it and that I can sit with grief and accept it.
I have learned that I am stronger than I ever realised I could be.
I have learned that there are some amazing human beings out there in my world and that I made my very own human being who is now 2 years older than my brother was.
I have learned never to take things or people for granted and that each moment we have on this earth is a precious one.
I have learned that I am capable of love and no longer fear loss.
I have grown to learn that everything happens for a reason – and if it weren’t for the huge losses I have experienced I wouldn’t have pushed my world to change when I was unhappy with it.
I have evolved and learned that grief was in fact a gift for me.
I have grown through grief and now accept that its shadow is forever woven through my cells and thoughts – and I am more open now than I have ever been.
Where once there was darkness, anger & fear, there are now so many more moments of light, love, and acceptance.
To my bro James – I love and miss you every day.
Thank you for giving me the courage to make a difference in the world.
Love, always x