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Are you a People Pleaser?

Are you a People Pleaser?
September 20, 2023 Charli Wall
In Blog

Are you a people pleaser?

Are you a rescuer?

Here is another snippet from my monthly ‘Ask Me Anything’ within my Circle Community

People-pleasing, or being a “people-pleaser,” is when you’re super caring and sometimes put others’ wishes ahead of your own, like, all the time.

Here are some ways it often shows up:

  1. Can’t Say No: You find it hard to turn down requests, even when you’re swamped or it’s not something you really want to do.
  2. Conflict Avoidance: You avoid sharing your true feelings because you don’t want to upset anyone or get into arguments, which can lead to keeping your emotions bottled up.
  3. Self-Care Neglect: Taking care of yourself sometimes takes a backseat because you’re always looking out for others.
  4. Craving Approval: You thrive on compliments and approval from others, and not getting that can make you feel pretty anxious or insecure.
  5. Apology Overload: You apologise a lot, even for things that aren’t your fault, just to keep the peace.
  6. Boundary Trouble: Setting and maintaining personal boundaries can be tough because you don’t want to disappoint anyone.

Why Prioritising Others Can Be a Downer

Putting everyone else’s needs before your own can have some not-so-great consequences:

  1. Burnout Blues: Trying to make everyone happy all the time can lead to feeling completely wiped out like you’ve hit a wall (we call that burnout).
  2. Self-Esteem Struggles: When you rely on others’ approval for your self-worth, it can leave you feeling kinda down when you don’t get that thumbs-up.
  3. Not Being Yourself: Over time, you might lose touch with who you really are because you’re too busy trying to please everyone else.
  4. Resentment Rears Its Head: Holding back your own wants and needs can build up resentment, which isn’t fun for anyone involved.
  5. Tricky Relationships: Sometimes, you attract people who take advantage of your helpful nature, which can lead to some rocky relationships.
  6. Missing Out: Always putting others first might mean you’re missing out on your own goals and dreams.

Breaking free from people-pleasing is all about finding a balance between helping others and taking care of yourself.

It’s like finding the sweet spot where everyone is happier, including you! 😊

If you would like to deepen your understanding of this, you can either join my Circle Community, or you can reach out to me to book a call (the latter open to men and women)

Recently I did a live podcast interview with my client Lucy Gordon, it will soon be out on my podcast, but for now, you can watch it on my YouTube channel

Just click the picture below to watch.

Lucy spent a year coaching with me 1:1 and also had access to my Circle⭕ Community.

During our conversation, she speaks about how she went from chronic fear-based thinking which prevented her from often going out of the house, or driving on motorways, to a life with so much more ease, less heavy thinking, and more freedom.

She is a gorgeous soul, and I hope you enjoy this conversation

This is her testimonial:

“I have just finished a year of working with Charli and it’s one of the best things I have ever done.Charli was able to hold space for me in a way that I had never experienced before.
he has helped me to understand myself on a much deeper level and unpick so many limiting beliefs.A year ago I was very lost & anxiety controlled every aspect of my life, fast forward to now and I am so much more able to zoom out and witness those thoughts rather than attach myself to them.It’s been such a fascinating and eye-opening experience and I have finished my 1:1 coaching with more love & compassion for myself than I have ever allowed myself to have.I can’t recommend working with Charli enough. The work she is doing is truly amazing ❤️❤️”

Let me know if anything resonates for you by hitting reply, I love to hear from you.

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