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From Frozen to Thawed: How Sally made friends with her Nervous System

From Frozen to Thawed: How Sally made friends with her Nervous System
July 21, 2024 Charli Wall
In Blog

Today, I wanted to share with you a conversation I had with my client, Sally. She kindly agreed to be interviewed about her experience working with me.

Sally’s journey with me began in a unique way.

She initially joined my field as a freebie coaching volunteer (See Guide #2 for Coaching Demos in my free FB community), and then later decided to work with me 1:1 on Nervous System Regulation work.

We dived deep.

Have a listen to Sally as she articulates so beautifully her experience of our work together and the courage she has shown in “doing” the work to embody herSelf 😃

Sally is a sensitive soul passionate about sports, particularly tennis, music, the natural world, art, and painting.

She has a chronic neurological disorder that impacts her mobility, but she continues to find ways to live her life despite her health challenges.

The book we discussed is called: ‘Call of the Wild, How We Heal Trauma, Awaken Our Own Power, and Use It for Good’, by Kimberley Ann Johnson: 

The essential oil combination that helped Sally so much can be found at the bottom of this blog’s resources section if you scroll down

She is such a joy.

You can listen on my podcast, Courage Dear Heart, here

Ep 84 Podcast with Sally Audiogram
If you would rather watch the episode, you can do so on my YouTube channel here.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             
THE BEFREINDING EXPERIMENT
Most of us are familiar with a common layer of protection called “The Inner critic,” or as I like to call it, “The Shitty Committee”, Or “Little Fucker”, a voice with a strong opinion or judgement about ourselves or others.
It can get really frustrating, self-loathing, critical, and shaming inside.
Because of this, we want to shut the voice down, make it disappear, or make it more “positive,” but it never works.
On the contrary, it gets stronger.
We would really appreciate some relief and peace from this constant inner critic, who often feels like the voice of our mother or father and the voice of the most dominant collective voices – what we “should” be doing, what is wrong, good, acceptable, or unacceptable.
The inner critic is heavy because it has energetic momentum.
We have identified with it for so many years; hence it is familiar.
The inner critic has various protective roles and is fueled by unresolved emotional and attachment wounds.

Ok, so how do you approach this?
Well, it is less about what we can do and how we can fix it and more about changing the inner conditions, so the inner critic is met and held in a different container.
1. Observe it. By observing, you create space from it. With more space, we’re less lost in it, it becomes less disturbing, and we can access the somatic elements of the inner critic.
2. Connect with its somatic experience. When the inner critic is dominant, how does your body feel? Contracted, tense, agitated, frozen, numb, disconnected?
3. Support regulation. Support the nervous system to regulate the somatic element of the inner critic: tension and contraction.
4. With more regulation and somatic connection, the wounds and unmet needs associated with the inner critic will surface. These include fears of rejection or criticism, helplessness, not being good enough, not being emotionally supported, overwhelm, or betrayal. Hold space for them. What needs to be felt/ seen/ heard?
This is a gradual process, and it applies to all other survival roles, too: ruminator, controller, analyser, thinker, or victim.

Practice: Daily Self-inquiry for guidance and clarity
• What is most supportive at the moment?
• What do I need to know for my nervous system to feel safer?
• Where am I too rigid? Where am I too loose?
• In what way is this …….(coping mechanism, response, belief) has and still serves me?
Let me know how you get on with this.
Things that may be of interest to you:
I recently launched my two foundational programmes on Udemy!
Both my FLY – First Love Yourself and my #SheFindsFreedom Programme.
Both are selling for very low cost considering the value inside of both of these gems, and that is because I am new to Udemy, so I would highly encourage you to get your hands on these now whilst they are this low in cost for you.

SHE FINDS FREEDOM: How to Break Free From Chronic Anxiety and Destructive Habits Without Relying on Willpower or Self-Discipline

 

Take good care of you, happy full moon, and have courage.

Love, Charli x

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