Understanding the feminine over-functioning pattern can help women recognise why they feel exhausted, overwhelmed, emotionally depleted, and disconnected from themselves. Many over-functioning adults were raised with societal and parental messages that linked productivity to worthiness.
“The quintessential feminine Self stands at the centre of the psyche and it is wild, meaning natural and free, and utterly wise. It is not ‘something’ we must strive to create. This Self is already fully present, burning strong and waiting for us to come into its presence” – Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Tucked inside the heart of every over-functioning woman is a precious little girl still longing to hear, feel and experience three of the most powerful and healing words they could ever say to her. “I GOT YOU!”
Over-functioning often comes from a deep need for external validation.
Over-functioning often comes from a deep need for external validation. As a result, it can eventually lead to burnout, resentment, and self-loathing. These patterns can affect relationships, intimacy, work, and both mental and physical health.
Consequently, many women feel less joyful than they once did. Instead, they feel emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed.
Are you suffering from Feminine Burnout?
This intricate pattern unfurls across three distinct stages:
- First Stage: The cycle begins with over-functioning women doing everything for everyone else. Most receive little praise or appreciation.
- Second stage: After pushing their body and mind so much, these superwomen finally hit a wall where they must slow down. Physically, this wall could mean they’ve gotten sick with a virus or a cold or are suffering from extreme fatigue or chronic flare-ups. Mentally, they could be suffering from panic attacks, depression, mental health issues or even OCD tendencies. Whatever the case, something forces them to stop, rest and heal; however, oftentimes, the time meant to be spent healing is usually filled with feelings of guilt for not getting anything done.
- Third Stage: The second these women can, they’re jumping back into their over-functioning ways at home and work, usually working even harder to catch up, and then ultimately starting the cycle over again.
Are you caught in this relentless cycle?
There are five key indicators of whether or not you’re trapped in the seemingly endless feminine over-functioning cycle. If you fit into the following statements, then you’re likely a victim of this maladaptive pattern.
- You’re never able to rest. How long does it take you to unwind on a holiday? Once you’re home, do you get more stressed from the holiday because you feel you’ve fallen behind on work?
- You’re not very flexible. How well do you handle an unexpected change to your plans? Do small changes make your head explode, or maybe you shut down entirely?
- Your libido has changed. The sex and intimacy dynamic between you and your partner has changed, and something is off. Maybe your libido has drastically lowered, or you may be the one with the higher drive now.
- You’re dealing with functional depression. You’re sad, lost, and not interested in things you used to enjoy, but you’re still keeping it together at work and home.
- You’re anxious. You feel like you’re jumping to put out one fire after another.
How To Break The Cycle:
If you have been trapped in this cycle of over-functioning, over-giving, and feeling exhausted, please know that there are ways to break this pattern.
- Embrace the art of RECEIVING: In cultivating a spirit of openness, we invite abundance, vitality, and the profound sense of fulfilment that has long eluded us.
- Unlearn and reeducate yourself: Shedding the layers of outdated beliefs, we embark on a journey of self-discovery, reclaiming the essence of our being with each step forward.
- Embrace the feminine: Amidst the chaos, we find solace in the company of kindred spirits, weaving a tapestry of connection and empowerment through the sacred bonds of sisterhood. In the gentle embrace of vulnerability, we find the strength to relinquish the burdens of perfection and embrace our flawed yet infinitely resilient, exquisite, beautiful selves. We can do this by finding a community of support, like a Circle of Women (either locally to you or online)
Over-functioning is doing for others what they can and should do for themselves.
Many over-functioning adults grew up believing their worth depended on achievement and productivity. Plenty of us were raised in environments where our value hinged on what we could achieve. Early conditioning like this can leave a lasting emotional impact.
As we grow into adults, we carry these beliefs with us into our relationships.
Constant pressure to prove ourselves and stay indispensable can create unhealthy behavioural patterns.
For many women, over-functioning becomes a coping mechanism rooted in the fear of not being ‘enough.’
However, beneath the surface, there may be unhealed traumas and unresolved issues stemming from childhood.
Possibly a little girl who really does not know she is lovable and worthy despite her successes.
The pressure to meet impossibly high standards, the fear of disappointing others, or the need for external validation can all contribute to this complex web of emotional baggage.
Identity development in relationships becomes challenging for over-functioning adults. They may struggle to separate their self-worth from their achievements, leading to codependency, anxiety, and a sense of emptiness when not ‘doing’ for others.
Exploring this journey of self-discovery and healing is crucial.
It’s about unravelling deep-rooted beliefs, addressing past traumas, and learning to value ourselves for who we are, not just for what we accomplish.
(Even if your puny little ego wants to contest the enormity of your soul, the smaller self can never for long subordinate, the higher SELF – and you will hear the voice of truth within; you need to learn to listen)
If you want my help, there are ways, which I will outline below:
🌀 Come to my retreats. I have 3 retreat every year.
This will give you sunshine, space, time, nourishment, love, care, holding, exploring, and movement, and we will unravel some shadow patterns that can run the show unconsciously. You deserve some time out 😉
💙Crete Retreat
💙Spain Retreat
💙Norfolk Retreat
🌀 Apply to work with me 1:1.
I will intentionally be coming for the places of conditioning and programming that live inside of you in service of your awakening self.
💙Fill out this mentorship form
Have courage, dear heart
Charli ❤️🦁
