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I thought my son was dead

I thought my son was dead
June 4, 2020 Charli Wall

Many years ago, when I was 21, I lost my brother in a motorbike accident. My father was in the same accident, however, he survived, albeit with severe disabilities.

Subsequently, for years afterward, I suffered from hideous flashbacks and quite severe anxiety about anyone I loved when they were travelling in their car.

I also suffered from flashbacks every time I saw a motorbike. This went on for 25 years.

I would often replay the scene of my finding out about their accident, but with new characters. ie. Of those, I was worried about on that day – meaning that I would make up movies in my head, of what would happen if another loved one died.

This happened for many years until I discovered the understanding that I now teach – the ‘3 Principles’, and how we all live in our creative power of thought, and that thought creates our feeling.

Recently, this got brought to life for me again, which I wasn’t expecting.

My son (now 20) has bought himself a new car and is enjoying his newfound freedom. He texted me that he was on his way back from Cambridge and all was well.

An hour and twenty minutes passed, and he wasn’t home.

In a moment, I found my mind re-creating the scene of me hearing about my brother’s death, only this time, the police were at my door telling me that my son had been killed.

I was still, and deeply compelled by the story that was playing out in my mind.

I am not sure how long I was there before I woke up out of the daymare.

It didn’t take me long to realise what I had been doing with the creative power of my own thinking. A few moments later, Zak, my son, walked in the front door completely unaware (& rightly so) what had been going on in my mind for a few hellish moments.

He was fine, gorgeous, and proud as any young man should be.

I had been creating my reality in those moments, and feeling them as though they were true.

That’s the power of thought, and we are very creative beings.

Thought is a construction of our minds.

But we think it’s an instruction as to what is true.

The reason I am sharing this with you is to show you that you don’t need to do anything with thought. It’s just seeing that thought looks and feels true even though very often it really isn’t, and getting even a glimpse of that one little insight is incredibly helpful because you don’t have to believe every thought that pops into your head.

It is not an instruction to what is true. It’s our best ability to construct what we think is true.

Once I understood the creative power of Thought to construct our reality I was able to see that in those moments, I was scaring myself with my own thinking.

Now when I see a motorbike I know that I don’t have to follow the thought train that I went down for years and feel that grief and anxiety in those moments.

I did get caught out when my son was driving back from Cambridge, but that’s ok.

I wasn’t fooled for very long, and I certainly didn’t experience the severity of anxiety and panic that have plagued me for so many years.

There is freedom in that.

What could open up for you if you learned not to take your thinking so seriously?

Love, Charli x

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