There’s frequent discussion about achieving “complete healing,” particularly within the realms of personal development and conscious circles, and it is part of a longer converation I was having with a client yesterday.
The idea of being fully healed implies, to me, a state of finality, completion, or superiority.
Personally, I don’t resonate with the concept of full healing, especially when it comes to non-physical aspects.
I approach it cautiously because it often signifies a disconnection from genuine experiences, human imperfections, the shadow self (or swampy self), and the reality of living in a world of duality.
This pursuit of spiritual enlightenment and striving to be “above” or constantly high-vibe can lead to a lack of true awareness and a disconnect.
Ironically, it tends to coexist with unattainable expectations for oneself and others, fostering perfectionism and a lack of self-compassion.
It’s like an armour, creating emotional unavailability and leaving us puzzled about why our relationships lack deep connection.
While it’s wonderful and true that we can feel progress in our personal growth journey, the human condition remains remarkably fragile.
A significant trauma or event, along with the lingering effects of past traumas, can suddenly overwhelm us.
This happened to me only very recently, as I shared with my Circle ladies
But does that make us any less than we were yesterday? Absolutely not.
On a gentler note, a new safe environment, connection, or relationship can bring out the parts of us that we thought were healed but weren’t.
We might find ourselves crying or confronting the neglected, rejected aspects of ourselves, all of which can stir up unexpressed grief.
It’s like we’ve been holding our breath without realising it until we finally release it in a safe space.
Does exposing your vulnerability make you less of a person in the eyes of another? Not at all.
I do this often with my own coach.
The idea of complete healing suggests that there’s nowhere else to go in our relationship with ourselves.
It implies that we’ve explored every nook and cranny, lost our curiosity, and left no room for growth.
This can become stifling when we can’t live up to our own idealised selves, making it challenging to create profound intimacy with others.
But it doesn’t mean we should cling to notions of being permanently broken, damaged, or incomplete.
Personally, I’d prefer to exist in a continual state of unfolding, embracing what is, staying curious, integrating and revealing, unfurling the layers of life with all its intricacies – the light and the darkness, the emptiness and the potential, the joy and the sorrow, the strength and the vulnerabilty, the connection and the solitude, the courage and the fear, the love and the loss – the full spectrum of human expression.
In a relationship with the truth of each moment, I remember that this is what it truly means to be free – real, raw, and beautifully imperfect.
Please have a listen to my latest podcast episode of #couragedearheart with my lovely client Lucy Gordon, ‘Fear does not stop death, it stops life’
If you would rather watch the episode, you can do so here on my YouTube channel
This is what Lucy had to say about her work with me:
“I have just finished a year of working with Charli and it’s one of the best things I have ever done.
Charli was able to hold space for me in a way that I have never experienced before.
She has helped me to understand myself on a much deeper level and unpick so many limiting beliefs.
A year ago I was very lost & anxiety controlled every aspect of my life, fast forward to now and I am so much more able to zoom out and witness those thoughts rather than attach myself to them.
It’s been such a fascinating and eye-opening experience and I have finished my 121 coaching with more love & compassion for myself than I have ever allowed myself to have.
I can’t recommend working with Charli enough. The work she is doing is truly amazing ❤️❤️”
Have a wonderful day!
Love, Charli x
Ps. If you are keen to get away for a Rewilding Retreat – We will be voyaging into the heart of nature to rewild your senses, soul & body in the magnificent sub-tropical mountains & forests of Andalusia, overlooking the ocean & on to Africa.
16-21st of October this year.
If you’d like to have a chat to see how this 5-day retreat could change your relationship with yourself please just book a time here
I’d love to connect with you.